There are many opinions on how children should be raised and when to start with certain points in parenting, but every child is different, and parenting them in the wrong way can harm a child’s mental development and affect the way they act in the future.

There doesn’t seem to be much in between when it comes to “helicopter parents” and “uninvolved parents”. 

Helicopter parents are forever being overbearing with their child, watching and searching through everything they do, and having a very strict nature, sheltering their children from the outside world. 

While uninvolved parents use things like electronics to babysit their child because they feel as though the child can use that to guide themselves. 

However, neither of those are the proper way to parent a child, and both can cause long-term effects to their mental health in the future.

One thing a parent should absolutely never do with their child is threatening abandonment. Whether as a way to coax the child or in a heat-of-the-moment act, threatening to abandon your child is never a good idea. 

“…Even if we might not realize it at the time, threats like these are done with the intention of hurting your child and scaring them into listening to you or doing as you say. And, emotional blackmail like this can make their attachment towards you and others, as they grow up, unstable or insecure.”, said Youtuber, Psych2Go.

Second, Psych2Go also warns to never compare your child to anything or anyone. Saying things like “Why aren’t you more like __?” can cause a child to develop an overwhelming sense of insecurity, rivalry, and jealousy to the thing or person being compared to them. It could also make them feel like they’re not good enough for you. 

Parenting can be especially difficult when it comes to making time for your child’s interests and other things that aren’t feeding and clothing them. 

Work can be stressful, especially when you’re trying to get it done with a child who wants to talk or play, but simply claiming you don’t have time for them is not healthy. 

Psych2Go says, “…it’s important to keep your priorities in check when making compromises between your work life and your family life. And, if you really have to choose the former over the latter sometimes, don’t just simply tell your child that you don’t have time for them or that you ‘can’t deal with them right now.”

Now, this is one thing that is a common and major problem; “do as I say, not as I do”, or, simply ignoring your own bad behavior. This does not work for many reasons. 

Children are usually unfocused and could care less about what you are preaching verbally, but they are paying attention to what you do. 

Children are affected heavily by everything around them, and they will copy good and bad behaviors.  

“For example, the children of smokers are twice as likely to smoke as the kids of nonsmoking parents, and overweight parents are significantly more likely to have overweight children than non-overweight parents.” Says The Atlantic.

Overreacting when your child breaks a rule is one of the most absolute reasons why some children cut ties with their parents when they move out.

If a child were to break a rule, freaking out over it will not do any good or teach the child any sort of lesson. I know from personal experience that overreacting when a child breaks a rule, even if it was on purpose, will not teach them to not do it, but rather, it will teach them to be sneakier when breaking said rule. 

The same article in The Atlantic says, “…what you do when rules are broken can really make a difference between teaching your child a lesson and simply making them angry and resentful.”

Going back to something mentioned earlier and moving into more of the ‘friend parents’ aspect of parenting, one thing you should never do is try to be your child’s friend instead of a parental figure. 

Sure, every parent wants their child to love and appreciate them as much as they do, but attempting to be the friend of your offspring instead of being someone who guides and teaches them is not a good parenting practice. “Being authoritative—using your years and accumulated knowledge to explain to your children—is different from being authoritarian, or someone who says “my way or the highway.” It’s not hard to guess which has the more lasting beneficial effect on a teenager or young child,” said The Atlantic.

The last thing when parenting that you should absolutely never do, is to assume that there is only one right way to be a good parent. 

Parenting is different for every child, and although it may be hard to bend and shape the way you act and teach things according to your child’s personality, it’s worth it to raise your child into a happy and productive adult. 

Although parenting may be one of the most difficult, tiring, and time-consuming things to do, it is still important that it is done right, and no corners are cut or extra steps are taken to get to the final result. Doing these things stated in this article will only harm your child, and if you don’t pay attention and be careful with the things that go on between you and your child, it might be too late.